Thursday, March 1, 2012

Review of Amy's Light & Lean Spaghetti Italiano Bowl

What a week for frozen pasta and tomato sauce! First the Parmesan Crusted Fish from Lean Cuisine with its deliciously sweet and still savory tomato glory, and now this. I was lucky enough to spot this at one of the convenience stores on my campus, and since I still had a meal swipe available to me on my card, I bought it. The picture was so pretty that the phrase "meatless meatballs" didn't even make me squirm. Not immediately, anyway. Generally, non-meat products that attempt to taste like meat are massive failures and fail to satisfy me. I was prepared for this reality when I microwaved this meal, knowing that dinner tonight is GERMAN FOOD and I will have herbed spaetzle again (YES!). The best part of all this is that the meatless "meat"balls were a great success. Go back and read it with the Borat accent.


They were absolutely delicious. DELICIOUS, I TELL YOU. The little faux-balls are made with quinoa, tofu, and lentils. They don't taste anything like meat, which is wonderful. It's a completely different flavor and texture, but no less wonderful than any kind of meat product. Wonderfully spiced, the little bitty meatless balls of happiness were actually tastier than almost any meatball I can remember eating. The only complaint I had with the faux-balls is that they fall apart almost instantly, whereas you can stick a meatball on your fork like a gladiator with a spear. You win some, you lose some.

The pasta was really delicious, and organic to boot. You can't complain about that. There's definitely enough for a few forkfuls, although by the end of the day (or approximately five hours after I was done eating this meal, two pieces of fruit, and a pudding cup) I was beyond famished and subsequently gorged myself on herbed spaetzle, as predicted. Unless you're eleven years old or just built like a finch, you're going to have to supplement this bowl. Or, if you're not dieting, just eat two. 480 calories isn't so terrible, and 16 oz. of food should be enough to satisfy anyone. Heck, that's as much as a Hungry-Man entree, and way better for you.

The sauce was out of this world. Organic, full of flavor, plentiful... there is nothing bad I can say about this sauce. I would eat a bowl of it by itself. It also complemented the pasta and faux-balls to perfection. Take this paragraph with a grain of salt, as I am the girl who has her friends order cheese sticks from pizzerias so that she can just steal the marinara sauce and spoon it out of the little plastic container like some weird tomato-loving glutton. I tell ya, I was meant for Italian heritage and somehow got stuck with Russian, Hungarian, Irish, and Scottish. What gives? I hate beets, cabbage, and anything related to stomach lining. Even American food, the food of my wonderful homeland, is probably some of the most disgusting food ever to smear its essence on the planet. Why, oh why, could I not have been Italian and had all the wonderful carby, tomato-y goodness that comes with that?

I digress.

Amy says that there is a "side of broccoli florets" in this bowl. I'm not so sure. The broccoli, while delicious and beautifully green, is hardly enough to constitute a side dish. There was, in total, about eight paper clips' worth of broccoli hidden among the pasta and faux-balls. I remember learning in high school science that a paper clip is roughly equal to a gram. Eight grams of broccoli is simply inadequate. There were eight grams of FAT in the LC Parmesan Crusted Fish I ate the other day. Step it up, Amy's.

Actually, don't step it up. This meal is pretty much perfect the way it is. I give it a strong and hearty A+, which rarely happens. It's on par with the butternut squash ravioli as my favorite microwave dish of all time. Maybe if it filled me up, it'd be in first place. Then again, I eat about as much as Seattle Slew, so you might be just fine with it.

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